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I hardly find time to write here anymore..
When i do write, i waste the time..
Right now though, on this Tuesday..
I Cant think of anything else to say..
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This is something iv been promising for a LONG time now..
Finally.. here we go..
 !!..MY BABY BRADLEY..!!
 Baby likes to hang out in our Room on the Bed, these is probly his favorite activity lately.. playing and smiling..
..Speakin of Smiles..
..Baby learned how to grab up at things last week..! like his favorite lil Swing..
..And last but not least.. Baby learned how to pull himself all the way up and look around for us when he wants to not be in his Crib anymore..
And thats all for now..
Theres plenty more pictures of Baby and the rest of us on his Website..
Check out the Wedding Album, those would be the newest pics..!
!!..Thanks for making this Daddy proud..!!
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Sunday, February 15th, 2004
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Our Wedding was Yesterday afternoon, and now im learning how to type while wearing a Ring..
The thing about big events like this, is that their done before you even know it, and people try and tell you but its hard to understand until your done planning..
Saturday Morning didnt feel like a Wedding day, because i slept as good as any, and i didnt have any wierd dreams related to the wedding, but i did have dreams, just like last night..
I was dropped off at my Mom and Dads house around TenThirty, and my Dad was just getting home from work, so we went in together after i kissed Rachael and baby goodbye, because the next time i saw her, itd be when she walked towards me in her dress..
Since i was there so early, me and my brother went to Andover and got flowers for Sarah, and then we went to McDonalds for BigMacs just like last weekend, and Rachael called and said she was just in Augusta too washing the Car and then we wished eachother luck on getting ready for the Wedding..
Once we were back home, we ate and then i started to get dressed in my old room while Aaron and me talked, and then Sarah got there, and my Dad started puttin my tie together and then he put it on me and we were ready to go..
The way there was great, and even though we did take one wrong turn, we got there only a minute late, and we sat at her Grandmas house, which is right by the ClubHouse, and we waited for the Judge to get there, and before we knew it, he arrived..
We all walked over to the ClubHouse and when i walked in i was surprised by how great Rachael and Sarah had made it look, and it wasnt anything like id expected..
I went and introduced myself to the Judge and he was a really nice tall man and beyond friendly, so we made the plans and before i knew it, it was time for one of the biggest events of my life to start..
The music started, and Rachael walked through the viel and looked better than iv ever seen her..
This is when it got intense, and i thought i was gonna lose it, but i couldnt stop smiling when her Mom walked her towards me, and i instantly held her hand once she got to me, and then it was time to get married..
The Judge started in on the lines we all know, and we said our I Do's and it all seemed to go fast except when we had to repeat after him, which was one of the longer parts, but after that was done, he pronounced us Man and Wife..
He then told us to turn around and face everyone, and he introduced us under the same last name, and that was it, we were married..
After the most important part of the Wedding, we all gathered around for Cake and signed the papers for the Judge before he bumped his head on the way out the door..
While eating cake we had good times and good eats, and we were all smiles, and then it was time to open presents, which wernt expected, but we got a lot of money that was needed, and even a bottle of champagne..
Once we were all done talking for about an hour, they all walked us out to our Car, which was writin on by her Sister and had all kinds of things streamin from it..
We got our things in the car, which was now loaded, and then said bye to Baby and Family and road off to enjoy the rest of the Night..
The Hotel was nicer than any id ever seen, in fact its actually one of the nicest in the State.
I was surprised when we got there and found out we get free valet parking because we just got married, and then we looked around the Hotel before getting in our room and popping the first champagne bottle which was offered with our Valentines Package..
We kinda got a buzz goin on, so we decided to go walk around and look out the windows on the other side of the Hotel on our same level cuz we were way up there, and then we went and toured the Hotel before goin back to our room and thats when i gave Rachael her Valentines Present which she totally didnt expect, and it was a Necklace with a heart, and so she put it on and we made our way to eat with my Brother and Sarah..
On the way to meet them at Italian Garden, we saw my friend Ryan and i could just tell by the way he drove, and i honked and honked before he finally looked, and we told him we just got married and said wed stop by the House later.. which is the same house Seth lives at..
Dinner at Italian Garden was great, and i got the most expensive meal iv ever treated myself to, which was of course steak, and normally i wouldnt of done it, but it was my Parents treat, and so we all ate great and then we got to see Sarahs engagement ring, because Aaron finally popped the question to her that afternoon after the wedding at Sarah house..
We said goodbye to my Brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law, and then we went to Seths place, but he wasnt there so we just talked to the people we did know and then we left and went to our Hotel where we watched Red Shoe Diaries and played of course, but then we realized how full we were, and decided just to drink champagne..
After a few drinks, we went down to the very bottle level and tried to get in the HotTubs, but there was old people in one, and young people in the other and we didnt wanna seem wierd so we just swam for a while before finally getting in one, and then this girl was real nice and asked if she could just put her feet in, and we ended up talking to her for a long time and it was nice, but then we got too steamy in the HotTub, so we got back to our Rooms and took a shower..
Once we drank a bottle of Champagne, got in the HotTub and took a shower, we were only in the mood to lay in bed, which sucked cuz we had planned on playing alot, but we didnt let it get to us, and we just watched HBO before finally going to Bed at OneThirty..
This Morning when we woke up around TenThirty and got ready real quick so we could get our free Breakfast in the cafe..
The Cafe was really nice and they had all kinds of breakfast and i had a custom omelet and then we had lots of chocolate stuff from the chocolate fountain, and then i got a tummy ache and we went back to our rooms and packed and then laid and watched a lil bit of Daredevil before finally leaving our nice room..
When we checked out, i forgot my shoes on the counter, so those are gone, but then we got our car back and went over to her Grandmas again and met with Baby there when her Mom and Sarah showed up, so we sat around and talked for a while, then her Aunt got there from out of town and we talked all about the wedding before finally going home..
The ride home was funny because people kept driving by and being happy, and we forgot our back window said just married, of course..
We stopped by Gambinos and saw Amy, who gave us free food, and then we made our way home and unpacked..
I was in a wierd mood at first when we got home, but then Mark called and we talked and that cheered me up, and then Me and Rachael watched the Wedding Video and that made me happier, and then i rearranged our room a lil and put our lava lamp in there, and that made me happier, and then my Mom called and we talked forever, and that made me happiest..
Now im finally gettin on here to write about this very long weekend, and im finally finishing up this very long entry..
If you read all this, im sorry for all the details, but i wanted to remember all the big moments and i wanted to explain them to you as best i can..
So thats it, my Wedding Weekend..
Now im married, and i will be for the rest of my Life..
To the greatest girl in the World..
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Friday, February 13th, 2004
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It feels wierd to sit here and think..
In less than one day, ill be a married man..
Its one of those things you hope will happen someday..
In a flash, its happening, and it doesnt seem real..
Its real though, and im with the woman of my childhood dream..
In the end, i wouldnt have it any other way..
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Saturday, November 8th, 2003
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Saturday, September 13th, 2003
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Bradley Skye Boykin
Born: September 12th, 2003 at 12:45 PM
Weight: 9lbs 1oz
Length: 20 inches
With details like that, theres no doubt about it, Baby is finally here, and my life has changed completely..
It all started Thursday night around 9:45, when Rachael and me were laying in bed talking..
Her contractions started earlier in the day, but she didnt really notice them until this time, and they were five minutes apart, but we decided to wait through the night and see how things went..
It was a long long night, especially for her.. i had some sleep, but it was off and on, and totalled about Three Hours.
Around 6:15 we called the Hospital and then talked to Dr Nightengale who told us to come up and theyd have a Bed ready.. so we went to McDonalds and i ate breakfast while we cuddled, and then we went and registered into Susan B Allen Hospital..
We wanted to know for sure that she was in Labor before we called anyone, so luckily we found out that Baby was indeed on the way so that we could get my Brother and Rachaels sister from needing to bother with even going to the school, cuz we knew theyd be leaving soon to come up to the Hospital..
When i called my Mom i acted like nothing much was going on, but i couldnt hold it in very long, and when i told her thats when i really realized how awesome this all was, and i got really giddy and of course she did too, and then i talked to my Brother, who had just been fixing to go to school..
The next two hours were spent trying to get her contractions closer together, so that she would get dialated, and it went really fast and by the time her Mom and Sister got there, she was getting closer and closer to Delivery..
My mom called and told me that my Dad was home, and i told them to go ahead and come up to the Hospital cuz things were happening quick..
My Family got to the Hospital around Ten AM, and when i got back to the 3rd Floor with my Family, Rachaels Mom informed me that Rachael had dialated to 8 and they were moving her to the Delivery Room..
This is when i started getting very very excited, cuz i had no idea it would happen this quick..
Me, Rachael, her Mom, Sister, My Mom and Dad, and my Brother all waited in the Delivery Room with her while Contractions got closer together, and the Nurses got everything ready for Baby..
Dr Nightengale got there around 10:45, and we got prepared and decided that Me and her Mom and Sister would stay in the room through Birth, since the only room was in front of the Bed, so it wasnt practical, but luckily the Door was close to the Bed, so theyd be able to hear everything through the Door and peak now and then..
By 11:30, her Grandma, Duane and some other Relatives were all gathered out in the Hallway while i sat with Rachael and helped her through the contractions, which got really hard when they decided to speed things up by breaking her water, since she was already dialated to Nine, and once this happened, things happened very quick and everything was very very intense..
I cant really explain the thoughts going through my head, but i remember thinking i would be able to not cry when he got here, and i remember being scared i wouldnt be able to support Rachael enough, but luckily Rachael was very strong, and she didnt even need an epidural or any kind of pain killers.. everything happened Natural..
Finally the Doctor saw Babies head, and thats when i knew i wasnt gonna be able to not cry when he got here..
The nurse that had been with us since the begginging told me my job was to turn off the AC once Baby was almost here, so i felt special to help, and i did a good job, but not nearly as good as Rachael who was finally starting to show how hard it was to push through the contractions..
She pushed for about Thirty minutes, and still managed to laugh and smile at times, and i know theres no way i could of done what she did, but she did it, and did it well..
Baby finally came into this world at 12:45..
I couldnt believe what i was seeing, the most beautiful thing id ever seen, and he was all ours, and he was so perfect, everything was perfect, and i couldnt of held back tears even if id tried, cuz it was the most amazing thing id ever witnessed, and my life changed when his begun..
He laid on Rachaels tummy while they fixed everything up and took care of her, and i cut his Cord for him, and then he started his breastfeeding right away, which got him close his Mommy right away..
Our Families were outside all in tears when they heard his first small cries, and amazingly he didnt cry hard for almost ten or fifteen minutes..
After Rachael got cleaned up, Everyone finally got to come in and see him, and lots of pictures were taken, and lots of tears were had..
They all hard lots of compliments for Baby and Rachael, especially since Rachael had gone all natural and was still not complaining..
We spent about an Hour being with Baby, and then he had to get tests taken, so slowly people started to leave, and we had moments to ourselves with him, but not for long.. throughout the day there were people in and out, especially after we got moved to the room wed be staying in..
Since id never been around a Baby this much, and the whole thing was so new to me, i learned something new with each little minute, and it made it that much more special for me, especially when i learned how to hold him different ways..
The best thing though was when he opened his eyes while i was holding him for the first time, and looked right at me, and he had the cutest blue eyes.. i just couldnt believe he was so much me and so much Rachael.. and just PERFECT..
Finally we got some sleep around 1am, after the nurses took him..
Wed been up for a long time, and the sleep was well deserved, but of course it was off and on because they brought baby to be fed, and these were the moments when i learned how to be content in having my sleep interupted, and i even had to go outside to roll up my windows cuz i looked outside and it was raining.. but it was nice walking out there and just thinking about how amazing Life is right now..
I woke up this Morning when they brought Baby to be fed, and I decided that id go ahead and go to my Grandpas Funeral, like i knew i should but didnt know if id be able to..
Rachael said shed use the time i was gone to take a shower and take care of baby, and i needed the time to reflect anyways.. so i drove out into the rain and went home before going and meeting up with my Parents, then we drove to Wichita and we were of course late for the Funeral, which really sucked, but im glad we made it..
Going to a Funeral at a time like this was such a wierd thing, and a very unique experience, and my Family was all so glad i had the respect for my Grandpa to come after such an intense day, and they all wanted to know how it went, but the main focus of course was Grandpa..
I really lost it and started crying hard when I was listening to my Uncle talk about my Grandpa, and then i thought about when Baby was born, and realized that this would probly prove to be the most amazing 24 hours of my Life, and i started crying from sadness and happiness at the same time..
The Funeral was as nice as it could be for a Funeral, especially since the Pastor had been my Grandpas Pastor, and my Grandpa was a Pastor.. so there was a personal connection..
After the Funeral the Family was asked to stand at the front, and everyone walked by and shook our hand and talked to each of us, and at the end of it was my Mom Dad, my Grandpa.. and the whole time i just couldnt wait to get to him, cuz he was so excited for me and we shared a good Moment, and it made it all worth the trouble it was to leave Baby..
Before we left i got to talk to all my Family Members about Baby, but in particular i talked to my Cousins Husband, who just became a Father for the third time last Month, so we shared a connection and i talked to him for about thirty minutes, and eventually the conversation turned to Video Games.. Final Fantasy in particular.. and it was great sharing the talk with him..
On the way home with my Brother and Sarah we stopped and got some food and then stopped at Payless Optical to see Seth for a moment, and i saw Missys sonagram, and then we left so i could get Rachael a Rose, and then when we got to my parents house i changed and hurried back to the Hospital to see Baby..
Back with Baby, i took a short nap while he slept since hed just been fed, and then the Dr came to circumsize him, which gave us some more time to sleep before people started to come back to see him..
My brother got there around Three, and we went to fill Rachael perscriptions for her, and we had time while they got filled so we went to get some Coffee and share some more time together, and it was great time spent indeed, cuz these past few days have been definitive, and he understands perfectly..
We got back to the Hospital and ate Dinner, and then her Sister got there to visit a while, and right after she left we noticed that Keven James was on Comedy Central, which is probly my favorite stand up special ever, so we watched that, and then Baby got his check ups before we were to take him Home..
Finally everything was good to go, so we packed up the Car and i called my Mom and told her and Dad to head over to our House to see Baby come home..
We were finished up at the Hospital by the Nurse who ran the Lamaze class, so it was extra special, and then Baby had his first short car ride home..
We got home and the neighbors were outside being loud on the phone, but we made the most out of this amazing event, and it was perfect, we got lots and lots of pictures of Baby with the sign my Family had put on the door before going up to the Hospital on Friday, and then we went inside for the first time with Baby, and Kitty got to know Baby..
My Parents stayed for about half an hour and played with Baby, who was amazingly still in a good mood even though he hadnt eaten in a few hours..
Finally he was ready to eat, so my Parents left, and i uppacked the Car, and then we spent time with Baby in his Room that he was finally able to see, and everything was perfect, but still totally intense..
Rachael gave me a break from all the craziness by having me go McDonalds, where i bragged in drive thru about my Baby, and told them to tell my friend from childhood who worked there about Baby being born, and then i went home to eat and watch my precious child sleep..
Thats when i got to this point, where iv finally gotten the time to record the most amazing event in my life.. the one thing that this has all led up to, and now Hes here, and im the happiest Dad alive..
Im also the most tired Dad alive, and so is Baby and Rachael.. so im finally going to end this, and finally going to go lay in our Bed and sleep as long as we can until Baby wakes up..
And thats the Story of his Life..
This is how it happened, in tired detail.. but fresh detail..
This is my Babies Story..
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This is simply an Illusion..
If you want to read my Journal, you have to know that your not reading unless your a Friend, cuz this is only for those people i trust..
So, If you want, you can read here and below.. but just know that the real stuff is only seen by friends, so leave a note and ill add you, or not..
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Friday, February 14th, 2003
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in a few hours, i will be a different man..
but first, i have to move out of my childhood room..
and this is probly the hardest part of tonite..
my room looks so wierd without my bed..
but in about an hour itl be at its new home..
and then, preparations will be made for poppin the question..
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Wednesday, January 29th, 2003
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This is my Baby, who is about six or seven weeks old.. we wont know whether to call the baby a he or a she until about 22wks, so until then, meet baby..
we wont be able to meet baby in person until.. 9/11.. yes my baby will be born early september or late august, but this is what the computer said..
Here is Baby's little heartbeat, which only showed up a quick blink on the screen, but it is there.. and Baby was probly concieved after a Rave we went to during that week, which explains why babys heart is goin at 170BPM with the Happy Hardcore we were listenin to so much of during that time..
This is all we can tell for now, but next time baby will be developed a lot more of course, right now baby is only the size of a quarter though, so all we can see is arm and leg stumps and a little cord thats feeding the lil fella..
its official though, im now more excited than iv possibly ever been in my life..
and i honestly dont know if i could of held Rachaels hand any tighter while we listened to my Baby's heartbeat for the first time..
now its for real..
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Saturday, January 18th, 2003
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Monday, December 9th, 2002
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| Time: | 5:11 pm. |
| Mood: |  stressed. |
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I become so tense sometimes that it feels like every muscle in my body is pulling against me..
but that comes with the territory of working all day and then heading home to spend an hour busier than i was at work, and then heading straight to wichita to donate and see seth, and then im headed straight back to El Dorado to hang out with Rachael and then go to bed so i can work all day tomorow again..
maybe its just Mondays, maybe thats why im such a nervous wreck, but what explains the depression then?
i think that has more to do with how the end of the Weekend went.. i started feeling depressed but couldnt find the cause, then i realized it was probly just after-effects from the weekend before last when i killed so many brain-cells..
depression always comes to me after a weekend like that, but usually it comes a few days later, not a week.. and it really threw me off..
but more than anything, i think i just feel guilty..
i feel like my morals have gone down the drain the past few days, and not in usual ways.. but i think i just hide too much, and my conscious is eating at me like always..
i hate having a conscious, but it cant be ignored..
so im gonna try and make this week a lil better by trying to relax and hide from it all, just like i always do.. but the work is never done, so im always rushing and when i finally sit down i wonder why i cant relax..
somethin has to be done about this
my relaxation needs to come natural
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Wednesday, October 30th, 2002
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id just gotten my car fixed less than three months ago.
now, three months later and thirty degrees cooler, i sat in my car cursing it as it refused to give me a ride to work.
it had been messin up last night too, it was like the connection to the battery was loose and it was disconnecting on and off, so itd start sometimes and then have no power at all a few seconds later.
this morning i got nothing at all, and my light was dim and that made me think maybe the battery was almost dead, so in a rush i hooked it up to a charger and then called Rachael to come by and pick me up like the old days.. and she was there and out of bed in less than thirty minutes..
she drove me to work like the old days when she had to drive me everywhere, and i hoped i wouldnt have to put her through that again, but still i love bein able to spend that fun time before work, and we even went by her college on the way since id never been around the west-campus.
i got to work an hour late and was cursed on time from then on..
on break i decided to not clock out cuz wed probly take a long break to smoke or somethin, but we didnt end up doin that, and then when we got back i clocked out and was gonna clock back in thirty minutes later.. but i forgot and didnt remember until it was an hour before i had to leave cuz rachael was pickin me up an hour early so we could go to walmart and i could get home quick to look at my car.
after rushing my ass off to get a batch of paint out, i ran out to rachaels car like the old days, and we went to walmart like new days.
we looked at halloween costumes and then walked around aimlessly for about 10 minutes before i was distracted by the Book Section.
I went in expecting them to still only have Strangers, the book by Dean Koontz that i just finished last night.. for some reason its the only book theyv had for the past few months that iv been reading it.
I planned on getting one of his new books at the Mall this weekend, but to my amazement.. sitting there before me.. where Strangers used to be, was his Brand-New book, the one that just came out a few months ago.
I couldnt believe my eyes when i realized that this book too was about UFO's but in a totally different context..
I had to buy this book rite then and there, it was just too perfect.. and i almost got it free too cuz we were in the floral department outside and there were no people watchin the gate that leads to the parking lot but then i realized there was scanners there so we didnt.
Rachael took me home while i talked on and on about this new book and the book i just finished last night, and we munched on PretzelsBits and BottleCaps the whole way.
We got home and i went inside to steal her a Coke from my fridge cuz she was parched, and then as my dad was walking out to my car we kissed good-bye, she left for her moms house and shel probly be comin back by tonite since i cant go there cuz of my car problems.
My dad found the possible problem in my car rite away, and it was what i figured but dreaded, my Starter.
This pisses me off cuz we just got it fixed a few months ago, and we had problems then and had to get that one replaced too, so theres no reason it should be bad already.
My car started fine this time, and just seconds before it wasnt givin me anything, so we took advantage of the connection and he decided to look under the car but he couldnt really tell much, but it was gettin power perfectly fine now.
So after bein out in the cold for thirty minutes, im fixin to eat dinner in thirty minutes and then check my cars battery thirty times to see if its safe to drive it thirty miles to El Dorado and back for work.
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Saturday, October 26th, 2002
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last night, not so as planned but still went as planned.. good and bad, wrong and right.
driving to the college, i get a call from Kathy, my friend goin to KU now, and i tell her im goin to College.. but im done after this weekend.
i pull in and find the building quicker than planned and was surprised to see i got the best seat in the house, and rite in front of Rachael.
it was a trip seeing this show performed.. i mean iv been the highschool band concerts, but this actually had talent and feel to it, esp the jazz.
after the show, rachaels sister and her friend came with us to rachaels apartment.. i had to drive her friend cuz there wasnt much room in rachaels car, but it was a quick drive and unwierd.
wierdness began when we got to the house and i realized how lame it was seeming to be, hangin out with these two 16yr olds, but i was just needing a cigarette and knew this, but i couldnt have one till an hour later because i had to take her sister and her friend to Leon to pick up some guy thye have a crush on, who ended up stayin the night too.
back at the house i finally had my smoke, and justin showed up, which helped a lot cuz i was feelin alienated at times. also i finally got to meet rachaels friend Haley who came over rite about the same time.
she was pretty cool but kinda ghetto but in that funny way, but im glad shes cool at least.
me and justin hung out and drank and talked and shit but it was kinda wierd too.. rachael wasnt bein too friendly to him cuz i wasnt payin as much attention as id been doin before, plus we ended up smokin a lil.
justin left around 2 and from there everyone got sadly tired, which was lame but i was passin out too so shit i guess im just lame.
but i dont remember much before 2, i know lots happened, good and bad.. i was just too blurry and uncaring,. and thats why i dont like alcohol.. but shit i DID have fun last night.. thats all that matters.?
this morning i woke up an hour after rachael went to work, i decided id go to her work to eat cheesesticks for breakfast cuz it was the only thing that sounded good at that and this time.
me and rachael went on a delivery together,
back at gambinos, justin stopped by again cuz he saw my car outside while he was goin to his dads house down the street.
this kinda got wierd cuz i had just woken up and i have a massive hangover goin and rachael is wonderin why he came in.
after a while he left and then i just talked to rachael for about half an hour before finally goin home to sit and stone..
yeah, thats all i feel like doin for the next four hours before the other half of the band concert.
time for a shower, this feeling sucks
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so, i decided id repost some old pics and post some new ones..
all of em are over half a year old, some are half a decade old, but its not like i look much different now anyways, cept some specs.
so, heres to all you new people who mite wonder what this kid looks like..
( You want more? you get more..a lot more.. )
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Thursday, July 18th, 2002
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| Time: | 4:03 pm. |
| Mood: |  busy. |
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i woke up early this morning
this is worth mentioning, cuz it happens rarely..
rachael picked me up around nine and we went to the bank so she could deposit some money so she could go to the apartment shes wantin to get and put down the deposit on it.
instead of goin to work early (like i probly should..) i went with her to the new apartment, cuz i figure i better get used to it even though my optimistic thoughts are tellin me shes not prepared with the funds to do this, but its what she wants so im there to help her.
the apartment is kinda ghetto lookin from the outside, its on top of this garage but its real comfortable lookin cuz its surrounded by tons of trees, so no nasty sun like we hate.
when you step inside its totally different, its really new and every thing is finished and ready to be lived in, and the landlord was really cool.
so after checkin out the new house she dropped me off at work, and i was in no mood to work but i made it through the day fine, and now im home and ready to go to the other job..
also, ill be gettin my car back by the end of the month, yeah.. i still dont have it, but bills keep comin up and its been keepin me from my baby.
but my dad said if i pay insurance next week hel get the car out and then i can just pay HIM back which makes a LOT more sence, iv been tryin to get him to do this since it broke down.
oh well, things work out..
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Wednesday, July 10th, 2002
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after working at an Optical Shop for two years, and after suffering from massive headaches caused by my job and the lack of glasses i for some reason had, i finally gave in and got me a pair.
funny thing is, it happened as i was finally considering quitting Payless Optical, and kept me there so i can get the free pairs they owe me.
But then when i go get my presciption i end up buyin a pair there, cuz damn i have to admit, our frames are ghetto..
but i look like shit in glassses, no matter how much a part of my life they always are.. i just cant help it.
Im just lucky i dont HAVE to wear them..
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| 5 hits - take a hit |
| Time: | 3:43 am. |
| Mood: |  content. |
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It is Official-
There is nothing finer than spending a Saturday Night at home with my Rachael, failing to hit up the parties cuz we drifted to sleep spoonin and listenin to Billie Holiday..
I could care less that i didnt get faded and jaded on this weekend peak, cuz im peakin on some deep love.
and i never thought itd happen to me
dont let me forget
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| 6 hits - take a hit |
| Time: | 2:33 pm. |
| Mood: |  sad. |
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I just woke up from the deepest 12 hours of sleep iv had in years.. much needed and much appreciated
The only thing is, im sad now, cuz i had one of them dreams that leave you depressed
In the dream, me and my brother moved to a dorm at KU, much like the one Kathy used to have before she moved back.
Me and Kathy drifted apart when she went off to college for that one semister and at the same time i got with Rachael.
She hates me for the whole thing, and she cant be blamed, and i wish i could sort the things out in my head so i could tell her this isnt how i want it to be.
Id try to call her and talk to her about it, but it seems every time i DO talk to her i feel like im just lying and that ill never truely be the same person i used to be.
Yes, im a fucked up person, she was one of my best friends and i just dropped her when she was away for a while. Maybe my crush on her was more intense than i really knew if i didnt feel like i needed her anymore after Rachael.
But the friendship is something ill always miss, and the fact that she took me off her Friends-Only list kills me, but its totally understood.
In the beggining i did that to her first, just in real life.
If you do happen to read my journal anymore, know i AM sorry and i dont forget you..
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| take a hit |
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Thursday, June 27th, 2002
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| Time: | 2:10 pm. |
| Mood: |  crazy. |
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well today is that day, but it sure enuff doesnt feel like it, it feels like a Saturday more than anymore..
im feelin to lazy to carry about the b-day reutine, but im sure thatl change after a long shower and seeing Rachael and all that jazz/
i just realized also that my drivers license expires today, and rachael and nikki are at the courthouse gettin nikki one right now.. i should be there with them, but i decided to sleep in cuz i could and can.
also i have to say hello and happy b-day to Malevolent Kidd. cuz first of all Cancers are greatest and second you cant get any greater than 27th..
she added me back last night, and what a perfect birthday present that was!
whew time to jump in the shower, follow the leader..
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| 13 hits - take a hit |
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deft0n316's journal
ecstatic.
restless.
numb.
nerdy.